It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
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