that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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