Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
