Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
try to milk me bitch
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
