Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize