I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Randomize
