NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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