Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
God gave him joint rollers for hands
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
