I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Randomize
