All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize
