I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
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