I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Randomize
