My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
