Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
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