yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Randomize
