He is such a slut. More and more my type.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
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