i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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