How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
His nipple licking is glorious
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