Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize