3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
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