so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
sex in a hospital.. check
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
