I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
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