Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
