What did we do last night that was yellow?
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize