That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Randomize
