Having a random hookup so left but love u
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
