maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
