I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
