we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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