People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
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