ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
