I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Randomize