Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Randomize
