Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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