After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
