So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Randomize
