return my video game
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
