That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
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