question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Randomize
