I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
is that a dick in a sweater?
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
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