I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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