The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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