Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
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