So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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