I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
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