I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
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