why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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