Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
