i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Randomize
