Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
