Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
