hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
