dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
You're like the curious george of whores
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
