her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
