I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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