Please don't use social media to get back at me.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
