I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Randomize