it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
She even gives head with a lisp.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
