can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
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