I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
