All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
