I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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