Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
